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“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

- Brené Brown


Family Therapy in Gulf Shores, Alabama
By Jon-Elyn Murphree June 4, 2024
The growth of Baldwin County is undeniable, ranking as the second fastest-growing county in Alabama in 2023 with a 2.8% surge in residents. Many people are moving to the area and choosing to raise their children in coastal Alabama paradise. Parents are tasked with plenty of worries for their children each day; not only providing basic needs, but fostering environments for growth, development, and attachment to caregivers. Baldwin County residents are fortunate to have plenty of activities to participate in as a family, therefore building positive and healthy interaction with children.
By GoodTherapy Editorial Team June 1, 2024
June is a celebratory month for many reasons, most notably the start of summertime, but many don’t realize this time of year is also Men’s Mental Health Month. While discussing such an important topic shouldn’t be confined to one month out of the year, it offers a great opportunity to reflect on the progress and conversely, persistent barriers that men still face when it comes to seeking professional help. MEN’S MENTAL HEALTH PICTURE BY THE NUMBERS It’s no secret that men have a lower likelihood of seeking mental health therapy compared to women. In fact, according to an American Psychological Association survey , just 35% of men stated they’d seek help from a mental health professional, as opposed to 58% of women. It should go without saying that men seek therapy not because they suffer from mental health conditions at lower rates. In fact, the opposite is true in many cases. According to Mental Health America , about six million men suffer from depression in the U.S. every year, and men are also more likely to suffer from substance abuse and experience much higher rates of suicide. Studies have shown that men also express symptoms of depression that don’t necessarily follow traditional guidelines of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder, or DSM. Rather than citing well-known effects, such as chronic fatigue, appetite changes, and lowered interest in hobbies, they often state external behaviors, such as alcohol consumption or aggression, which are often more difficult to associate with a clinical diagnosis. WAYS TO REDUCE STIGMA AROUND MEN’S MENTAL HEALTH Societal discourse and norms continue to lend credence to the notion that masculinity involves appearing tough and independent at all times. According to psychologist Dr. Brad Brenner : “Societal stigma and entrenched masculinity norms play pivotal roles in shaping men’s attitudes toward mental health problems and their willingness to seek help. The fear of being perceived as weak or vulnerable is a significant barrier. This is exacerbated by the traditional view of masculinity, which emphasizes strength, stoicism, and self-reliance, often at the expense of emotional expression and vulnerability.” Sharing therapy experiences publicly Myths fester when no individuals, or at least very few, are willing to criticize a long-held belief openly, and historically, that explains why many were embarrassed or ashamed to admit they went to therapy. But times have changed. Male therapy attendance still lags in the U.S. compared to women, though the strides made over the last decade are a testament to the heightened public discourse that is questioning these long-held beliefs about what it means to be “a man.” Men are increasingly willing to discuss their mental health journey, whether that involves seeking therapy or seeking medication for depression or anxiety. And that only propagates healthier and more transparent approaches to mental health, whether via social media or public figures. Creating and maintaining healthy community and relationships Hearing celebrities, advertisements or social media influencers talk about therapy is helpful, but penetrating deep-seated misconceptions must also involve one’s close relationships. Surrounding yourself with friends and family that allow you to authentically express yourself and show vulnerability is a big deterrent to depressive symptoms and can act as an antidote to some mental health side effects. Such an environment also allows us to feel more comfortable sharing our own struggles, which can help propel efforts to seek therapy. Normalizing men in mental health positions Men are more likely to feel indifferent about their therapists’ gender than women — who, on average, prefer a female therapist — but there are certainly benefits of men talking with a therapist of the same sex. Just like women may feel less shame and embarrassment talking to someone who has a firsthand understanding of female-specific challenges, men are also likely to feel that way about gender-related topics, whether societally imposed or otherwise. But because the majority of therapists and psychologists are females, it can further fuel the idea that mental health discussions are a “feminine” endeavor, and by extension, diminish one’s masculinity. In fact, women comprise nearly three-quarters of all new psychology doctorates and more than half of the psychology workforce, according to the APA’s Center for Workforce Studies . The more men go to therapy and discuss its benefits, however, the more other males will be encouraged to seek help, and eventually, they may also feel more motivated to enter the profession and provide much-needed representation. MAKING IT CONVENIENT TO FIND A COMPATIBLE THERAPIST Finding an available therapist who makes you feel comfortable, has availability that aligns with your schedule, and accepts your insurance can be difficult. Traditionally, the process was so cumbersome that it dissuaded many who were already apprehensive about therapy. But that’s no longer the case. Online directories, such as GoodTherapy , make the process seamless by allowing you to easily filter for the criteria you’re looking for, whether it’s by availability, price, insurance plan, or more.
By LEO BABAUTA December 1, 2023
Recently I had a reader write in to me about not being good at finishing things. A few examples of things they haven’t finished: They bought a course and never finished it They can’t seem to stick to a diet They’ve only gone on half of the hikes they want to go on in their area I can relate! It can be hard to finish things — we get excited about something at the start, but when we get busy or things get hard or boring, our commitment wavers. So how do we get better at finishing things? We have to deepen into commitment, and get support. Before we get into the details, it’s important to note: commitment is a practice. It’s not something you either have or don’t have, or that you’ll always suck at. You have to practice, develop trust in yourself, learn what works, learn to bring in what’s needed for what you’re facing. Let yourself get better at commitment by being in the practice of commitment, regularly. If you’d like to practice commitment, here’s what I suggest: Make a deeper commitment: if you’re only half committed, then when things get busy, your commitment will go out the door. So it’s a practice to deepen the commitment — figure out why you really care about something, commit to others, and practice showing up no matter what. It’s like the commitment of a parent to feed their children — there’s no question. Use accountability & consequences: Most people don’t want to create consequences, but when we’re not really showing up with commitment, we can use accountability devices to deepen commitment. If you said you would have to get a pie in your face if you didn’t finish the course you bought by the end of the month, you’ll probably finish it. If you had to give $100 to a political candidate you don’t like if you missed your diet 2 days in a row, you’ll probably get more serious about the diet. Get support: Get a coach and find a community. It’s hard to persevere with something on your own. It’s easy to let yourself off the hook when things get busy, and easy to beat yourself up about it, and easy to engage with the same patterns over and over again. A coach helps us to see the patterns and choose something different. A community helps us to feel supported and not so alone when things are tough. As you deepen into the practice of being committed, you’ll notice that you’ll falter a lot. You’ll want to give up, or habitually start to go to distractions, or have lots of reasons why it’s OK to put it off. That’s totally OK — this isn’t about doing it perfectly, but about practicing with these habitual patterns.  So when you falter, don’t quit. Think of it as a part of the growth process. You’ll start, fail, learn, and try again, over and over again. As you do this, you’ll get discouraged, and it’s important to get support to keep going. Get encouragement!
By Vanessa Van Edwards April 30, 2022
Today’s workers are suffering from a burnout epidemic. It is estimated that 40% of office workers in the United States and Canada are burnt-out and that statistic is even higher in industries like medicine and athletics which have 50% and 60% burnout rates respectively. The danger is that burnout is linked to under-performance, low self-esteem and feelings of hopelessness. The major cause? Employees are being overworked without reaping the rewards. The Economic Policy Institute reports that between 2000 and 2014, economic productivity increased by 21.6%, yet wages have only increased by 1.8%. To accomplish that, a Gallup survey reports that American employees are working, on average, 47 hours per week, yet they are not compensated for those extra hours, leading to burnout. Even the most successful people hit plateaus or funks. Arianna Huffington is a mega successful journalist, author and entrepreneur. During the peak of her business running the Huffington Post she was swamped with work and putting in tons of hours. But she kept pushing and pushing. Eventually her energy got so low that she passed out on the bathroom floor of her home—ultimate burnout. She says that it was a wake-up call that she had to re-evaluate her life and rekindle her fire . Contact me to evaluate your level of burnout!
By Vanessa Van Edwards April 13, 2022
Do you find it hard to say “no”? You’re not alone. In an experiment 1 conducted by the University of Waterloo, individuals were asked to do something that went against their morals, such as damaging a library book. Even though they didn’t agree with the task, about half of them ended up doing it anyway. This interesting study highlights a common challenge many people face: finding it hard to say “no,” even when something feels wrong. Saying no is often challenging due to our innate drive to cooperate with others. Our genetics, forged from a millennia of evolution, inclines us to prioritize others’ needs—even before our own. The desire for social acceptance and fear of causing disappointment or conflict further urge us to agree, even when it’s against our best interests. Let’s dive more into the why of how saying “no” can feel like quite the challenge. We’re Programmed to Play Nice Humans are social animals 2 ; we’re hardwired to cooperate. Turning someone down? That’s like a glitch in the system, going against our instinct to keep the peace. Everyone Wants to Be Liked Admit it—we all crave that warm, fuzzy feeling of being accepted. Whether it’s self-esteem or our childhood experiences being a yes-kid, saying yes is often our golden ticket to fitting in. Nobody Wants to Be “That” Person Ever felt like you’ve twisted your own arm into saying yes? You’re not alone. Sometimes we say yes simply because we can’t bear to see that disappointed look in someone’s eyes. We all know rejection stings , and we’d rather dance around a ‘no’ than dish one out.  Standing Up for Ourselves? Easier Said Than Done We’re taught to follow the rules, be polite, and keep the boat steady. But where’s the line? The difficulty in saying no lies in navigating these deeply embedded social norms without losing our ability to stand up for what we truly believe in. Here’s why you should say no: Saying no frees up time for yourself. Let’s face it: there’s only so much you can cram into 24 hours. Whether you’re hustling toward your next big thing or just need to kick back and relax, constantly saying yes to others doesn’t leave much “me time.” Saying no teaches you to step out of your comfort zone. Think of saying no as the equivalent of taking a cold shower or making a toast at a party unprepared. It’s a thrill, it’s uncomfortable, but oh boy, does it build character! Saying no is like flexing a muscle —the more you do it, the stronger you become, and the more you get comfortable being out of your comfort zone . Saying no teaches you how to be assertive. Whether you’re at work, school, or just hanging out, being assertive puts you in the driver’s seat. Consider saying no your training wheels for being more assertive . Saying no isn’t as bad as you think. Worried about ruffling feathers? Trust me, most of the reasons that make saying no seem scary are all in your head. Most people get it; rejection happens. Heck, it might even earn you a respectful nod, especially if you’ve been the “yes person” for too long. Saying no helps you maintain integrity. Saying no allows you to align your actions with your core values . If something doesn’t fit your schedule or clashes with your beliefs, a respectful “no” keeps you true to yourself. Saying no can actually strengthen relationships. Sounds weird, right? But honesty truly is the best policy. Constantly saying yes might please people in the short term, but if you’re overcommitting and under-delivering, that’s a fast track to letdown city.

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